Featherstitch Avenue

Style and Couture Sewing

Oh, Silly Me

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Hi guys!  Welcome back!  The kids are back in school and I can get my head together just enough to sit down and compose this blog post.  Wahoo!

Today I want to talk about a good friend of mine.  We’ve known each other now for a long time and this is how our friendship began.  On our very first coffee get-together, she told a story on herself that I will never forget.  She said that she had recently had a morning that she woke up full of confidence.  She looked in the mirror and decided that she was having a “cute day”.  You know what she means—it’s one of those rare days when you look good and you know it.  So she put on her special vintage swimsuit and took her kids to the pool.  While she was there, she noticed a young couple who were looking at her.  And she thought, “Yep, I knew it.  I AM having a cute day.  Even the twenty-somethings are looking at me.”  She had one of the best days at the pool ever.  It was only after she got home that she realized that her tampon string was hanging out of her bathing suit.

I knew right then that we were going to be very very good friends.  For me, there is no better quality to possess than the ability to laugh at yourself.  It’s a trait that a number of my friends have, which is no surprise, because I find it so endearing and attractive.  I wish I could say I’m drawn to people like my friend because I’m like that too.  But the truth is I’m attracted to people who don’t mind embarrassment because I’m the exact opposite.  I mind it A LOT.

Silly Me Top

I have been actively working on cultivating the ability to laugh at myself for years and my thoughts on the subject kind of clicked into place this summer when our family was on vacation.  The kids decided they wanted to try water-skiing.  Before they went out, my mom and I both tried to tell them that it takes a lot of practice to get up on water skis and it may not happen on your first time out.  The oldest of my nephews brushed it off.  He’s a natural athlete and wasn’t worried.  But when he came back, he announced decisively that he would NEVER water ski ever again.  Oh man, this child is so much like me.

I worked so hard without much success to convince him to try again.  I told him the story of how I learned to get up on skis.  My grandfather wanted to give us some practice before we got out on the lake.  So my sister and I put on our skis in the swimming pool and he got out the ski rope.  Then he ran poolside holding the ski rope and pulled us on top of the water, which worked fine until we let go of the rope.  At that moment, he would go careening face first into the lawn.  And we would all crack up laughing.  His willingness to risk not only embarrassment but life and limb to teach us to ski will always make me smile.

Silly Me Top Close Up

The truth is that most creative pursuits (or athletic or academic ones) will eventually lead you out of your comfort zone.  And if you are so worried about embarrassing yourself that you stay in safe territory, you will end up cutting yourself off from a multitude of opportunities and experiences that can really open up your world.  I speak from experience.  It’s too bad that I wasn’t wiser when I was young.  It’s only after many years of practicing tolerance of embarrassment that I learned to do things that have become deeply satisfying to me.  

Creating this blog is surely an example of this.  When I started to build my website, I called tech support often.  As I listened to the recording “This may be recorded for quality assurance purposes”, I’d think, “Yeah, you may just want to record this to play for your friends so you can share a good laugh!”  But hey, I got through it with my ego only slightly bruised.  I’m more proud that I stuck with it than I am worried about how the tech support guy must have found my lack of knowledge hilarious.  There’s some personal growth for you!

And just to really drive the point home, I’ll tell you another story.  That same friend who is impervious to embarrassment mentioned to me that I had a chin hair that I may want to pluck.  Good God, y’all!!   This thing had gotten so long, I swear it curled like a pig’s tail!  There!  See??  It’s just like my mom says, “I’m living proof that you can’t die of embarrassment.”

Silly Me Top Back

Pattern, Panel Tank, Alabama Chanin

Fabric, Organic Cotton Jersey in Peacock

Details, Featherstitching in Button Craft Thread in Dogwood

Photography by Tracey Hogan and Santiago Vanegas

Video by Santiago Vanegas

Location, Inspire Health

Okay, time for some details about my top.  The panel tank is part of Alabama Chanin’s Build a Wardrobe 2018.  I stitched the seams to the outside, opened up the seam allowances, and then featherstitched on top.  (About time I showed some featherstitiching on Featherstitch Avenue!)  I used the stitching template from The Geometry of Sewing to get my stitching nice and uniform.

In keeping with the theme of this post, I had to overcome a little embarrassment to pull off this photo shoot.  The best Pilates studio in Atlanta, Inspire Health very generously allowed Santiago and I to use one of their workout rooms.  We both work out there.  Our photo concept required me to ham it up in front of Inspire’s big mirror while snapping the photos myself with a cable release button.  That’s what I’m holding in my hand in case you didn’t know.  So, here I am, acting like a goofball in front of the mirror while the other clients are walking by, giving me very strange looks.  These are people that I see regularly, so I can’t even console myself by saying that I’ll never see these people again.

And lastly, given how I put myself out there, Santiago decided he would too.  What you have here is his debut as a composer and performer!!  The music score of the video is a Santiago original.  And just so you know, you can see more of Santiago’s videos on his You Tube Channel.  Please check it out!

The Oscar Dress

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Wrap Dress in Ireland

When you hear “the Oscar dress”, you think red carpet.  In this case, I’m talking about a different Oscar.  I’ve named my dress for Oscar Wilde and stitched my favorite Wilde quote around the hem of the dress.  To understand why, I’ve got to tell you a story.  I must warn you that some of this post is dark, but if I’ve done my job, hopefully it will make some sense when you get to the end.

Many years ago, I was lucky enough to be able to study at Trinity College in Dublin.  Having already earned my BA in psychology, I was at Trinity to do some graduate work.  I had this incredible tutor who not only taught me, but also allowed me to shadow him at his job at a children’s clinic.  He was working with families who had significant challenges, like a four year old girl who had a metabolic condition that was so severe that if her food intake was not managed to the finest detail, she could die.  She was a really smart girl who had learned how to use this situation to her advantage and had become a tyrant worse than Veruca Salt.  She cursed like a sailor too!

Wrap Dress in Ireland

But by far, my tutor’s favorite client was a nine year old boy named Graeme.  He was a sweetheart who had some developmental delays that his family was trying to come to terms with.  One afternoon, Graeme’s family dropped him off at a video game arcade.  It breaks my heart to tell you that he was taken from the arcade into an alley by a pedophile and molested.  Here’s the part where words fail me.  How can I possibly describe the utter devastation that followed.  After many re-writes, I’ve decided not to even try.  For Graeme and his family, their lives became permanently bisected into “before” and “after”.  My tutor, well, he was so distraught that he couldn’t even teach me anymore and pretty much told me to stop showing up.

Wrap Dress in Ireland

For reasons that are too personal and too complicated to explain here, the whole thing was more than I could handle at the time.  And although I didn’t realize it fully then, that event was the end of my pursuit of a career in psychology.  I looked for an escape and found it in a literature class that focused on Oscar Wilde.  We read everything by Wilde—his novel, his plays, his essays.  It was while reading Lady Windermere’s Fan that I encountered one of Wilde’s more famous lines, “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars”.  And like all universal truths, when you hear it, it resonates.

Wrap Dress in Ireland

I could write pages and pages on what Lord Darlington was thinking and feeling when he said that line, but the truth is that you don’t need to know the story to understand the sentiment.  We are all in this beautiful mess that we call life.  And it gets really ugly sometimes.  But, we can aspire to be better.  We can look outside of ourselves to find answers or to seek solace.  We can change our perspective.  One of my favorite pieces of advice to give to new parents is this—if your baby keeps crying after you fed them, burped them, and changed their diaper, then change rooms.  Or go outside.  Most of the time, that is all it takes.  

Wrap Dress in Ireland

In a way that’s exactly what I did when I stopped studying psychology and jumped into that literature class.  I was still grappling with life issues, it’s just that I was doing it through a different lens.  Oscar Wilde was certainly no stranger to tragedy and some of the themes we covered were difficult emotional territory.  But for whatever reason, I could process what happened to Graeme and what happened to me through the study of literature.  So, at a time when I was in a foreign country away from the support of family and friends, it was Oscar Wilde who held me and comforted me.  To this day, my favorite photograph of him hangs in my home.  And now my favorite quote is stitched on my dress.  It’s a reminder that even in the darkest times, I can always look up and be guided by the light of the stars.

Wrap Dress in Ireland

Pattern, Alabama Chanin Wrap Dress, Build a Wardrobe 2017

Fabric, Alabama Chanin Medium Weight Organic Cotton Jersey

Photography by Santiago Vanegas

As you can see, we took these photographs in Ireland.  We had an amazing time and it was so great to be back there after all this time.  The dress is a pattern from Alabama Chanin’s Build a Wardrobe 2017 collection.  I had been wanting to stitch the Oscar Wilde quote for quite some time, but needed to find the right garment to do it on.  It took a bit of planning to get the scale of the words right, but I’m happy with how it turned out.  I used embroidery floss to chain-stitch the words and I used bugle beads, chop beads, and sequins to make the stars.  I also stitched smaller stars along the sleeve hem.  And as in all Alabama Chanin garments I’ve made, the entire dress is hand sewn.

Next up will be the first garment that I’m making in a little mini-collection that I’ve envisioned.  Most of the patterns are going to be drafted by me, so it may take me awhile!  Until then, be well everyone!

Wrap Dress in Ireland

Power Dressing

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Power Top

As human beings, we are so fortunate to have many ways to express ourselves. We can talk, write, scream, make faces, sing, paint, perform,…and we can dress. I’ve never seen fashion as something frivolous. Instead I regard it as a potent way to let people know who we are or who we want to be or maybe most importantly how we want to be treated. Because of that basic belief, I take care in what I put on every day. And oftentimes what I’m wearing may seem to be at odds with what I’m feeling. Let me explain. At the moments that I’m feeling vulnerable or scared, I’m likely to dress like I’m wearing armor. Biker boots, black leather jacket, and lots of heavy jewelry. It’s only when I’m my most confident self, that I can wear something soft and feminine. Because I know that if I present myself to the world in frills and ruffles (which I love by the way), I had better be ready to back that up with lots of self assurance and a belief in my own power and strength. Otherwise I’m going to get steamrolled.

There are days that I feel so good that I can go head to toe “pretty” and not worry that the world is going to eat me up. But on most days, if you were to run into me, there would be at least one element of “tough” in my outfit. It’s because I DON’T feel tough that I have it on. If I’m not feeling powerful enough to hold boundaries, I’ll let my clothes do the talking for me.

And that’s what was going through my mind when I designed this t-shirt. I hadn’t been planning on designing or making a t-shirt, but I came across a photograph of Johnny Rotten in all his Sex Pistols glory and I was so struck by his attitude and the attitude of the t-shirt he had on. I knew that I had to make something for myself that conveyed that message.

Now you may be wondering what I have in common with a 70s British Punk. Haven’t we all felt, at one time or another, anger at the status quo? Right now, I’m pretty damn mad at the way women are treated in this country and around the world. And as a survivor myself, I’m frustrated that sexual assault is treated as a non-issue. So, I’m wearing clothes to meet 2017 head on. Because going into the new year does not mean that we have a clean slate. We bring all of the experiences and lessons of 2016 with us. And that’s a very good thing because we will need all of it to be the agents of the positive change that we so desperately need. So pull out whatever you have in your closet that makes you feel powerful and get dressed! We’ve got work to do.

Self Drafted T-Shirt, Hand Sewn

Fabric, Alabama Chanin Organic Jersey in Twilight

Photographs by Santiago Vanegas

Location, Bogotá, Colombia